It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize