if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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