girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
