You can't special order awesome
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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