I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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