i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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