Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
