The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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