Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
third nipple confirmed
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
