Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize