I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
