Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
