He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
