The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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