The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
