Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
