dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
