i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
