I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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