you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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