Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
