Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
