your parents love me but you hate me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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