i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
