she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
