I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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