Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
