I love black thongs
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
