It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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