Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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