just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
