He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
