He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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