I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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