Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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