i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
