Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
