Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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