haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
