How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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