Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
foreskin is a definite game changer
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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