peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
