As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
