sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize