grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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