just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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