How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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