standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
