I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
