it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Church boner. Awkwardddd
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The air taste purple.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize