Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
