what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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