Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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