she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
