Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
