I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
