I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
