I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
