I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
