it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
