i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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