i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She even gives head with a lisp.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
